In this Austerity...

So I decided to write something after my long hiatus #DrumRolls – inspired by the #IdanreClass of 2016 WhatsApp group (oh Yes!) and some recent conversations with friends on the current economic situation in Nigeria.

Anyway, like the topic suggests (quite cliché if you ask me), I’d be giving you guys 10 useful tips on maximizing the times ~ living life in this austerity season…(Long Post Alert *coversface*)

1.       Invest – I know a lot of people will question this but hey this is really the best time to make those long term investments. Instead of leaving that spare cash in your account, buy a piece of land (there are so many legitimate schemes that offer flexible payments), buy shares of companies with prospects (speak to your stock broker/investment advisor for this), treasury bills are also good investments for this season.

 

2.       Look for alternatives – If you know me, you’ll know this is my mantra! I am always shopping for deals – compare prices on various websites that stock the items you want to purchase, find cheaper substitutes that can offer you similar results. I’ll give an example here; I love makeup but in this FX scarcity regime, I realized that I could achieve same result by using Milani Compact Powder (N3,000) instead of my usual Mac Studio Fix Powder (N18,000). YouTubers call them dupes...Lol. Basically, apply this same principle to your everyday life especially for non-essential items.

 

3.       Take advantage of sales – I cannot overemphasize this. I’m always on the lookout for sales! It’s almost becoming a problem but I like to get good bargains so…not sorry. At sale events, you find that you get things cheaper as sellers use those opportunities to make space for newer items and in Lagos there are always sale events. Look out for these events on social media – Instagram, Facebook, etc.

 

4.       Ditch the aso-ebi – This may get people offended but honestly, many times aso-ebi is unnecessary except the celebrant is your very good friend or a family member. A better investment, will be giving the couple a fraction of the aso-ebi cost as a wedding gift or even part paying some of their vendors (a friend mentioned recently how someone supplied about 20 cartons of water at their wedding and they were more than blessed by that gesture). Let’s do a quick math, if your last aso-ebi cost N20K, chances are that the total cost of attendance at that wedding was somewhere around N25K – N40K. How do I know? Well you made that fabric for N5K – N15K, makeup/gele for N3k – N8K, do I need to go on? I think not. The message is clear. Re-rock old aso-ebis, invest in nice dresses that can serve multiple purposes.

 

5.       Make trade-offs – Still talking about aso-ebi, if you must wear that aso ebi,  you can ask to buy a fraction of the fabric e.g. 2 yards instead of 4yards (if you’re a smallie like me), buy fabric without gele etc. This helps to save a few bucks if you ask me and YES! I do these things shamelessly with no apology. If your goal is to look in sync with other guests, you can buy a cheaper fabric in the same color and make something nice out of it.

 

6.       Take advantage of cheap fun activities – I like to have fun! Some people call me enjoyment minister but I do it on a budget.  Once a while, I’d splurge to see Asa or Brymo perform because YOLO but then there are so many ways to have fun on a budget. If you think I’m lying, go to Bogobiri on Thursday evenings for a relaxing atmosphere of open mic sessions, Freedom Park or even Fuse Lounge (where you get to taste the best cognac in the world for free) and at the same time listen to good music. There are always deals – movie lover? Go to Genesis cinemas on Thursday, see a movie, get a small sized popcorn and a drink all for N1,200 or go on Wednesday for a N800 movie only ticket. In fact there is a deal for every day, just ASK!  You can also check www.bellanaija.com on Wednesdays to see where it is happening in Lagos.

 

7.       Travel – Take advantage of group travels, it is always cheaper to share cost than to bear them alone. One might say well my friends are always busy when I want to travel – Not a bad idea to travel with strangers especially because you end up making new friends and connections.  Another tip is to book your ticket way ahead of your travel date. For instance, a friend got his return ticket to the US for less than N300K when he booked his ticket in April for a September travel. For more useful tips and tricks, my good friend Kemi,  shared some on her blog here – http://www.kemionabanjo.com/kemi-onabanjo-30-countries-by-30/

 

8.       Trends vs Essentials - Trends will go out of season but essentials last over seasons. An example is buying real gold (more expensive initially) instead of those expensive costume jewelry that fade off after two months; buy real leather bags (doesn’t have to be a name brand) instead of buying fancy cheap bags and purses that will start falling off after 6 months, splurge on real human hair instead of supreme weavon, etc.

 

9.       Weddings/Birthday Events – I recently shared this link;https://www.bellanaija.com/2016/09/cut-your-coat-according-to-your-size-have-the-wedding-you-can-afford-practical-wedding-budget-tips-on-get-wedding-ready-with-wura-manola-watch/ to some of my friends on a WhatsApp group and I think it is still very relevant. A friend, Oluwatosin recently confirmed on twitter that she used all unpopular vendors for her wedding and they delivered over and beyond her expectations. Don’t kill yourself by trying to out-do others…there’ll always be a better/bigger/more fun wedding/birthday party. Many times, if you open up honestly to these vendors they’ll work within your budget.

 

10.    Finally, Give – In this economy? Yes. Remember that quote, givers never lack? Whatever you do, please don’t stop giving – for a good course I must add. Give time, money, energy or whatever resources you can give as it is always more blessed to give than to receive. There’s a lot more to say on giving but since this is not a message on giving I’ll leave you with this scripture in Luke 6:38a “Give, and it shall be given to you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom”.

The message here is balance. In the midst of it all – busy lives, goals to achieve and everything in between, don’t forget to live a little! Happy Independence Day everyone J! Please say a prayer for Nigeria today!

Women, why do we ignore warning signs?

Hello Beautiful People,

I hope life has been treating you well…Always remember, God never promised it would be easy; he’s always faithful and able to see us through every issue we pass through.

I’m sorry I have been away for some time, there is just always so much going on…work, soul searching and trying to make the best of life. Like all my other posts, this post was inspired by my thoughts which were triggered by a program I’m currently watching on Oprah’s OWN…Iyanla Vanzant’s #Fix my life.

On today’s episode, Iyanla interviewed Evelyn Lozada, one of the cast members of the popular “Basketball Wives” reality show. Evelyn got married to her NFL Star Chad Johnson on July 4, 2012 and by August 14 in the same year; she had filed for divorce on grounds of domestic battery and infidelity. The marriage ended when Evelyn found a Walgreens receipt which for a pack of condoms purchased by her husband just 3 weeks after their wedding. Thereafter they got into a fight that landed Chad in jail and Lozada with a three-inch gash on her forehead.

One thing that got to me during the interview was that Evelyn revealed that she had prior knowledge that her man was cheating and she went into the marriage for fear of not being loved, she got married because she felt the marriage would validate her. Also, she had earlier consented to his infidelity in one of the episodes of Basketball Wives saying it was okay as long as he was honest to her and used a condom.

To cut the long story short, she accepted him and his flaws believing she could live with them; she probably thought that he would change after marriage and become a better person. I’m sure we all know by now that only GOD changes a person, marriage DOES NOT. It is a known fact that many people reveal their true identity after marriage as they become more comfortable with each other after the “I-do’s”.

Evelyn mentioned that like most women she ignored her intuition and went ahead with the marriage as there had been prior issues of infidelity, incompatibility, arguments, etc.

Over the past few months, we have read news of domestic abuse, the rate of infidelity among spouses has also been on the increase yet many do not learn.  On a regular basis, women are getting married to men even when their intuition and day-to-day activities with their partner spells D A N G E R!  If he hit you once, he will hit you again and again except God changes him. Don’t get it twisted…It is never fun for any woman to be in a “love-less” marriage. Mind you, when I say love, I mean true love, respect, commitment, accountability, faithfulness and all the ingredients’ that make for a good and enviable marriage.

My question is this, why do we women ignore the signs? If you ask me I would say we do out of the fear of unknown, fear of not finding someone else to love us, fear of losing all that we have invested in the relationship; the money, the emotions, the time, etc, poor self esteem that makes you feel you’re never going to be good enough for any man.

Again, I do not have all the answers; I look forward to reading from you guys. Do you have an experience where you have held on despite seeing warning signs? What did you do to get out of the relationship? What were the lessons you picked? Please feel free to share and drop your comments.

Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!

Ciao!

Building communication skills with your significant other...Is it really important?

Hello Beautiful People,

I know it’s been a long while. I've been a tad too busy...But I thank God all the same for the blessing of having a job. So many changes have been going on in my life...LoL. I went off blackberry messaging a few weeks ago and quite honestly I have been a little sane...I miss my friends, I miss seeing BBM status and display pictures updates..

To the business of the day, yesterday I attended my 'oyinbo' church--Harbor Trinity Church and I saw something that was of interest to me in the bulletin from Focus on the Family. That piece inspired this post; please enjoy! 

Like the topic of the post, this article focused mainly on communication between spouses. I will be adding some of my thoughts to the content of the article.

Very easily our lives have become so busy, there's work, there's family, and everything you can think of. 24 hours runs by so quickly, imagine we are already in September, that's how fast time runs. In the middle of the rigmarole, it is so easy to 'forget' the importance of this skill that is the life-blood of every relationship (God, spouse, parents, siblings, co-workers, etc). Communication is especially important because by it, you inform, explain, influence and build intimacy. Indeed, it is sharing your feelings, fears, needs and desires honestly, carefully and at the right timing. Quickly, I will share a few action points that can be used in building communication skills with our significant other.

- Morning and Evening Chats; Permit me to say, there are still a few people out there who wonder why they should speak to their significant other multiple times during the day e.g. in the morning or evening etc. I would say for me, and I know for a lot of people reading this, it is very important that you at least start your day talking to this person who matters a whole lot to you. Definitely there might be times when this may not be possible but with all the technology around these days, social media, blackberry messaging, whatsapp etc, I honestly think this should not be a problem. 

-Home-from-work-transition time; I think this applies to couples. It is very important that you both take time after work to reconnect. If you're still dating, I would say a perfect opportunity would be to hang out every once a while if you both work in the same area e.g. both on Victoria Island, instead of getting into traffic, seeing a movie or just hanging out for a drink after work wouldn't be a bad idea.

-Kiss 'n' hug; I know this sounds silly. I have heard people say why must I hug her 10 times or funny stuff like that. I think a hug does a lot and so does a kiss. For married couples, I would say don't go a day without a heartfelt kiss and hug. Somewhere down the line in your marriage, it would eventually be a tradition you'll be grateful you established. 

-Meal times; Take time to connect during meals; this would also be a good time to pray together and talk without the noise from the TV etc. If you're dating, again if you both work in the same area, you can easily meet up for lunch. Mind you, it doesn't have to be 'ghen-ghen'. I just think it creates a feeling of togetherness to have both of you eat together; moreover you would be building a culture that would create a bond when you eventually get married. I worked with a colleague a few months back, and he would always do a late lunch, so one day I asked him why and his answer was my fiancée and I, usually have lunch together at the car- park. I was so tripped. I thought that was a very brilliant idea which other intending couples can take a cue from. 

- Dates; I know people get married and just get so comfortable especially where I come from in Nigeria. Never underestimate the power of dates. Dress up like you would when he was still wooing you and go have some fun. Guys don't marry her and abandon her, marriage is not a favor from you to her, it is an institution created by mutual consent. If you're still in the courtship stage, this also applies to you. A date doesn't have to be expensive, just think up creative ways of enjoying each other's company. A few weeks ago, my married colleagues were talking about their coming vacation (she has two kids by the way), I asked her so what happens to the kids and she said Oh we drop them off at our parents and go on vacation for about a week or two at least once a year. It is important that you continue to keep the fire burning even after the kids have come. Yes, I know it is easier said than done, but bear in mind that you can do it if you really want to do it.

- The power of praying together. Honestly, there is something about connecting spiritually with your significant other. As the head of the home, initiate prayer sessions. Heartfelt prayers move God and it is only through him we can weather the storms that come with marriage; I definitely know it is not a bed of roses but like the saying goes, the couple that prayers together stays together. It doesn't have to be a long prayer session, find what works for you and stick to it. You can even compose a nice heartfelt prayer text message/ email message (not those bbm broadcast messages...LoL) and send them randomly.

I hope this makes as much sense to you as it made to me when I read that article, I also hope someone reading will start to adopt some of the ways listed here.

What other creative ways do you build communication skills with your significant other? Please drop a comment.

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao!

Still on this Olympics matter...

Hello Beautiful People,

Apologies for the Part 2 post. Now I know this is not “Nollywood” but the truth is personally, I do not like long posts. I lose interest when a short piece starts turning into a 3-4 paged essay. So I decided to shorten the post even though I had initially written it all at once.

Continuing from where I stopped in the previous post; while I do not have answers to all questions in my last post, I think I have suggestions:

First of all, it all starts from the home front. Mothers!!! Encourage your children. If you notice your child has an interest in something, develop that something. It might just be his talent/gift. Don’t shut him up, don’t tell him oh go and read your books, your mates are “carrying” first. Not every child is meant to be a lawyer or engineer or doctor. If you can afford it, send these little ones to music, karate, gymnastics, ballet, basket ball, soccer etc classes during their holidays. Let them participate in corporate/church events e.g. Sprite grand slam, church competitions etc. Many of us have the notion that those events are for the “poor” people, which is so wrong.  Instead of hopping from one “owambe” to another on Saturday, take time to invest in their lives. I have an aunt who will proudly tell you oh I’m taking my son to a basket ball competition in another state. The boy is about 10years old or so. And don’t say this is US, some people do this even in Nigeria;  I was surprised one day when my friend mentioned that her cousin was going to music class on a weekend, I said in Nigeria? I don’t think many of our parents had that much exposure when we were growing up, but we do now. This is 2012, we are more enlightened.

As much as I subscribe to summer school many times I think it is a waste of precious time; you would still learn those things next term anyway, besides different schools have different curriculums so…why not spend that time doing something else probably acquiring a skill. Summer is always a perfect opportunity to do all these stuff because of the length of time the children are at home (if you haven’t planned any vacation though). Make a commitment that your child will be good at something else other than “maths and English”.

Secondly, schools support these kids. If there was a prize or scholarship for best runner, I tell you these kids will sit up. They will honestly. Instead of giving prizes for best in computer alone, add a sports category to your prize giving events. Let PHE classes be much more than standing in the sun, let it be more practical. Set aside valuable time for them to practice the volleyball and basket ball theories you have taught them. Let them compete with neighboring schools. Interhouse- sports should be more than just being a fund raising event, honor the athletes that do their houses proud, let their peers be jealous of them and be driven to participate. Ensure that you develop other areas in the lives of these kids; while all cannot be runners, some can participate in other games. I think I am tired of seeing rappers and dancers, let us develop other areas. These are some of the things that our parents should be discussing at the PTA meetings.

Thirdly, corporate organizations develop your staff, encourage their children. My office organized a basket ball competition sometime ago and the team that won got a large sum of money (Sadly, I think I am too petite to play basket ball). Guess what, it is all in the encouragement. I think some organizations in Nigeria also do this but often times, the focus is on football. I believe we can branch out to some other areas. We can also lend our support by sponsoring children with these skills. Imagine how proud a child will be if he was on a scholarship from GTB just because he won Lagos Karate Competition or something like that. Sponsor them for games abroad, yes we CAN! If there’s an African Children’s game or something, sponsor them. The way companies go all out in sponsoring the MBGNs and the Miss Nigeria’s, channel those resources into other causes.  These are the sorts of things that drive passion. It makes you more committed when you know a lot is at stake. We know our government is failing but must our private organizations also fail? The answer is No. We must rise up to the challenge and be the change we want to see.

Lastly, YOU, ME and US! Let us wake up. Do you know that if you learnt a skill during that your holiday abroad or even practice some of those things you learn from you-tube videos, you can start something. You don’t have to start big. Start by assembling the kids in your neighborhood, start by giving free lessons. Just START.  Kaffy the dancer does not work in a bank, neither does she have a plum job in the oil and gas industry, she branched out to do what she loves doing the most. She owns a dancing school and today she is an employer of labor. You don’t have a job, what else do you like doing? We have too many fashion designers and musicians already (PS- I appreciate all my fashion designers and Wizkids...Lol), look for a need and be committed to meeting that need. Make an IMPACT. START doing something. This goes out to everyone (including me). Let us start with what we have. Initiate ideas at your work place, in your church, at your social clubs, etc. This doesn’t even have to be in sports alone, it can be anything as long as it is going to be productive.

God help us all to see a Great AFRICA in our life time…

God help us to witness the birth and rebirth of a new NIGERIA in our life time…

I am so looking forward to a time when I will begin to hear and tell good stories about AFRICA…

I know and believe in a not too distant time from now we will get there.

What other practical suggestions do you think can work? And most importantly what role can you play? It is okay to talk and get angry but the most important thing is to start taking baby steps. Please share your ideas and suggestions.

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao!

Now that the Olympics have come and gone…

Hello Beautiful People,

I hope you had a good weekend.  I certainly did even though I had planned to just chill and relax within the confines of my room after a fun weekend out last week. On Saturday evening, my house mate offered me two tickets to the Orange County fair and I just casually mentioned to my friend, she was game. She visited me for the first time with another friend and together we had a BLAST on Sunday at the fair!

Anyways, before I digress…my post is going to be about the Olympics. Now, note that I am not really a sports person but I try to stay informed as much as possible. As I mentioned in my welcome post, I like to contribute to meaningful discussions.

So yeah, the Olympics have come and gone and would you believe Team USA had 104 medals…wow! Of the 104 medals, I am proud to say Team OC contributed 14 of those medals (Yes, I heard it on the news today)...Lol. But sadly, NIGERIA is not on the medal table and that is the issue of this discuss.

I started to watch the Olympics quite late, but then I followed most of it on twitter and facebook of course, BBM PM/DP updates were also informative. Like many little things that inspire me, I was really inspired by the stories of some of the athletes. NBC did a great job of playing and replaying their stories and I can tell you that the feat achieved by many of them did not come by wishing, it did not come by just assembling a team to “show-face” like Nigeria did. Many of these guys had been training for years! Can you believe it?

Training for days, months and years unending. In fact, many of the athletes do not have full time jobs, preparing for these games is their FULL TIME JOB, now that is  the definition of “preparation meets performance”.  Bryshon Nellum was shot in his legs 4 years ago on his way to training; he made a comeback this year in the Men’s 4 x 100m relay after several surgeries and recoveries.   I saw the tears on the face of 27 year old, Michael Phelps (most decorated Olympian of all times with 22 medals)’s mom, Gabby Douglas’ Mom, I could go on and on.

In all of this, during my moments of reflection all I could muster was what excuse does Africa have? Really, what excuse does Africa, more importantly, the giant of Africa, Nigeria have? What cogent reasons can we give for not being on the medal table?

Just as I was about to write this post, someone’s BBM status read “Atlanta ’96, GB 2 Gold medals, NG, 1 Gold medal, 16 years after GB 29 gold medals, NG not on the medal table” . I was so ashamed reading that update. It is extremely depressing and shameful. I watched Nigerians proudly represent and win medals for other countries and I was even more depressed.

While I commend and admire all the athletes who represented our dear nation, I commend them for even trying to represent Nigeria, a country whose leaders do not even encourage them, a country whose resources were not invested in bringing out the best in them, a country who will not appreciate them even if they brought home the medals…yes, what happened to those who brought home the medals in 1996? I saw how people bashed the Nigerian Basket ball team and I dare ask, did Nigeria train them? Most of them were born and bred and trained in the USA so technically they did Nigeria a favor by even representing in the first place.

I ask again just as I did on my facebook page, what incentive is there for me or anyone as a Nigerian to participate in any sport/game with the intent of winning? What do I stand to gain from it? Are there even scholarships for people who are good in sports? Do parents even encourage their children to participate in other things such as music, sports, etc? Are there even enough facilities? In Lagos, there are two stadiums…OK good, are the facilities in these stadiums up to date, state of the art facilities? Most of these athletes have personal trainers who train them, they have people who help monitor their diet, and many are also sponsored by several companies too.

Many of the comments on my facebook post were by people who felt the government might not be totally blamed for our inability to produce medals and that we as individuals still have a role to play. As much as I agree, I will not subscribe to my brother jogging from Ojodu to Allen when I cannot guarantee his safety, in my own opinion; the government has a LARGE role to play. A role in making the community we live in safe, a role in encouraging and supporting our youths, a role in providing up-to-date facilities and amenities, a role in ACTING and PLAYING the part.

PHE education in schools should be more than just playing “ten-ten”; many of the people who represented the US were mostly young people, mostly within the 16-28 age brackets I believe, imagine Michael Phelps retiring at 27 (he’s been to 4 Olympics meaning he went to his first at age 15).  I could go on and on but will anything be done? What measures have been put in place to dig out these talents from wherever they might be hiding? What steps are being taken to sustain the careers of these athletes?

I sigh heavily as I write this while I hope and believe NIGERIA will rise to her potentials in my life time.

…to be continued.

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao!

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT…

 Hello Beautiful People,

Welcome to August, 2012!...I really wonder where this year is racing to. Anyways, there is still a lot to be thankful for. We thank God for life and the grace to see another month and pray that this month will bring us our much desired blessings In Jesus Name. 


Away from that, I wanted to introduce to you guys, the “THIS IS HOW WE DO IT TEAM”.

So who are they and what do they do right? Basically, the team is made up of young men and women based in Lagos, Nigeria who try to touch the lives of the less privileged in any way they can. They are professionals from all works of life; consultants, bankers, radio personalities, doctors, engineers just name it. Membership is free… oh well not free, all you need to do is to offer the gift of your time and money or sometimes really just offer your support whenever they have activities coming up. I have been to the “This is how we do it...Soup Kitchen” before and I had so much fun (see picture below..hehe). 

We went into the neighborhood of Ajegunle, a suburb in Lagos and we made and served breakfast/ lunch to the children in the neighborhood. We also gave out used clothes and some stationery. If you ask me how the experience was, I would say even though it was stressful, It felt really good to add value and be a part of the change Nigeria so desperately needs. It was a priceless experience that really made me appreciate life in a new dimension. I met tons of people;  and I would say it is a great way to network with people from all over and still give back to the society at the same time. The organizers are super nice and chill; they try to come up with other activities to foster good relationships amongst the team. They organize hang-outs every once in a while; I never really had a chance to go to any of them though.

Recently, the team started the “This is how we do it…Mentoring Program”, where we basically go out to schools and have some good time with the kids, we mentor them, talk to them and stuff like that.

Anyways, in August, Yes, a few days from now, there will be a “This is how we do it…Mentoring Program, Summer School Edition” in Ajegunle, Lagos.  We will be working with about 100 Primary 5 and 6 kids. The team needs volunteers as well as donations from N1, 000 to anything listed below; 

-          An amazing children’s book (1 for each child)

-          An inspiring movie (To be watched during the program)

-          Children’s games (For the Games Day)

-          A Photographer (For portraits)

-          Paper frames for portraits

-          Certificates

-          Tote bags or backpacks (1 for each child) To be branded with TIHWD logo

-          AWESOME STUFF to fill the bags (notebooks, stationary, more books, cookies, chocolate, and any amazing stuff you can think of!)

-          Lunch for kids and volunteers every week

-          Drinks (water and other) for kids and volunteers every week.

If you’re interested in becoming a part of a team of young people who are doing and not just sitting and talking about the change Nigeria so desperately needs, feel free to send an email to soupkitchenng@gmail.com or check out their facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/thisishowwedoNG

Also, see the link below for a video of the last “This is how we do it…Mentoring Program”  http://youtube.com/watchv=6lnalPWrbe4&list=UUa5SEODwJ37nTtoBp09NGrg&index=4&feature=plcp .

Feel free to drop a comment if you have any questions you would like me to answer.

Thanks for stopping by!

Ciao!

Enjoy...and Share!

Hello Beautiful people,

My very good friend shared this on his face book page and I thought it was the most amazing story ever...here you go...Enjoy!

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say it’s unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe it’s because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled.

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when it is ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled.

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang.

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my I pad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends’ goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”

“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! Don’t say it! When you come we will gist very well” she laughed

She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader,

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for both of you-No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?

When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down.

Pay attention to little things, believe that they work and experience new bliss!.


My own two cents; it is not about the clubbing obviously...for me, what I picked from the story is the importance of keeping relationships/marriages alive. You can still do "some" of the fun things you did while dating even after marriage! 


PS: I just saw that this story had been shared on several blogs..oh well. I decided to share too :)

Please feel free to share...

Thanks for stopping by!
Ciao!

Welcome to my blog!!!!

Hello Beautiful People,

This post is to officially welcome you to my blog. Last time, I did a quick post and totally forgot that I hadn’t uploaded the long welcome epistle I had written many months ago when I first started to consider the idea of blogging. By the way, thank you all for the comments and constructive criticism on my last post, I really appreciate you all for stopping by.

Let me take you briefly into my journey and how I finally got here…

I found out many months ago that out of curiosity and maybe boredom, I started to visit several blogs, my friend introduced me to Linda Ikeji’s blog sometime last year; but even before then I would surf the internet searching for news from all over the globe. I would go from punchng.com to guardianonline.com to cnn.com to bellanaija.com (I’m addicted to BN btw), just name it. I just had to know what was going on around me and the result, I always had something, no matter how small to contribute to almost every "gist". 

Gradually, "blog-reading" became one of my past times especially when I started living by myself, I would in search of "gist" from one blog to another; before I knew it, I automatically became an addict. A day would not pass by without me doing my random read through, infact I have some of my favorite blogs bookmarked..haha. I remember days when my friends would ask questions like“you girls have you heard of this blog?” and my response would be “Yes now, I visited last night sef”. Now at least an half an hour of my day is devoted to blog reading, I would be sharing some of the blogs I visit in subsequent posts.

I must mention that my desire to create my own blog is by no means a way of joining the band- wagon, to me having your own blog is like being in your own little world where you can express yourself. It is pretty much like having your own space. 

I guess the next big question would be what would your blog focus on? Well, I’m about to disappoint you because my blog will focus on a wide array of topics, like the name; purely my own thoughts, my blog will feature posts on some of many things that I think about…If you know me, you will know I think a lot, I am a deep thinker when I'm in my moments.

Anyways, I’m going to be sharing on God, relationships (always a favorite), marriage (even though I’ve never been married before, I read a lot of marriage books), fashion, life issues, back drop of conversations with my friends and hopefully, some of my readers’ suggestions.

Once again, I welcome you formally to my space...my blog-world. Wish me luck as we journey together on my new found love and adventure…

Thanks for stopping by!

Happy reading!

Ciao!