Hello Beautiful People,
I hope life has been treating you well…Always remember, God never promised it would be easy; he’s always faithful and able to see us through every issue we pass through.
I’m sorry I have been away for some time, there is just always so much going on…work, soul searching and trying to make the best of life. Like all my other posts, this post was inspired by my thoughts which were triggered by a program I’m currently watching on Oprah’s OWN…Iyanla Vanzant’s #Fix my life.
On today’s episode, Iyanla interviewed Evelyn Lozada, one of the cast members of the popular “Basketball Wives” reality show. Evelyn got married to her NFL Star Chad Johnson on July 4, 2012 and by August 14 in the same year; she had filed for divorce on grounds of domestic battery and infidelity. The marriage ended when Evelyn found a Walgreens receipt which for a pack of condoms purchased by her husband just 3 weeks after their wedding. Thereafter they got into a fight that landed Chad in jail and Lozada with a three-inch gash on her forehead.
One thing that got to me during the interview was that Evelyn revealed that she had prior knowledge that her man was cheating and she went into the marriage for fear of not being loved, she got married because she felt the marriage would validate her. Also, she had earlier consented to his infidelity in one of the episodes of Basketball Wives saying it was okay as long as he was honest to her and used a condom.
To cut the long story short, she accepted him and his flaws believing she could live with them; she probably thought that he would change after marriage and become a better person. I’m sure we all know by now that only GOD changes a person, marriage DOES NOT. It is a known fact that many people reveal their true identity after marriage as they become more comfortable with each other after the “I-do’s”.
Evelyn mentioned that like most women she ignored her intuition and went ahead with the marriage as there had been prior issues of infidelity, incompatibility, arguments, etc.
Over the past few months, we have read news of domestic abuse, the rate of infidelity among spouses has also been on the increase yet many do not learn. On a regular basis, women are getting married to men even when their intuition and day-to-day activities with their partner spells D A N G E R! If he hit you once, he will hit you again and again except God changes him. Don’t get it twisted…It is never fun for any woman to be in a “love-less” marriage. Mind you, when I say love, I mean true love, respect, commitment, accountability, faithfulness and all the ingredients’ that make for a good and enviable marriage.
My question is this, why do we women ignore the signs? If you ask me I would say we do out of the fear of unknown, fear of not finding someone else to love us, fear of losing all that we have invested in the relationship; the money, the emotions, the time, etc, poor self esteem that makes you feel you’re never going to be good enough for any man.
Again, I do not have all the answers; I look forward to reading from you guys. Do you have an experience where you have held on despite seeing warning signs? What did you do to get out of the relationship? What were the lessons you picked? Please feel free to share and drop your comments.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!
Ciao!
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